Warning Kids: This Could Get Messy

!!!WARNING FOR ALL THOSE NOT-SO-HORSE-PEOPLE!!!

TODAY'S POST IS KINDA GRAPHIC

     I just want ya'll to be aware of that. A few days ago, I went to the barn on breeding day. It was an interesting day to say the least. Let me tell you, I learned ALL about the breeding process, and now I get to share it with you!

     First of all, we need to know the terms. A stallion, or stud, is a male horse. Breeding studs are male horses with favorable genetics. Mares are female horses, and brood mares are mares that are used to breed and have babies. This (that picture over there -->) is an AV, which is short for Artificial Vagina (If this already bugs you, then just quit reading now, and wait for me to make my next post.) And AV is filled with hot water that is the same temperature as a female's insides. A plastic liner is inserted through the middle of the AV. At the end of the liner, there is a bottle with a filter in it.
     When the AV is ready, it is time to collect from the stud. Mike leads the stud (This one is Gen's Armed & Dangerous) to the phantom dummy, and when once the horse is all hot and bothered, he mounts the
phantom. Christy then directs the penis into the AV, and the semen collects bottle at the end. Sometimes, to get the stud in the right mood, they put a tease mare next to the phantom. This is a mare that is in heat. Other times, they collect into the AV off of a tease mare's back. The other option for collecting a stud is just the old fashioned, live action way to do things. (I'll spare you the images of that.)
      After the bottle has been detached from the AV liner, and the filter has been removed, it is time to take things to the lab!

    Mike takes a small sample of the semen and puts it in a machine that calculates how many million sperm are in one cubic milliliter of semen. He then puts the sample under a microscope and eyeballs what percentage of the sperm are alive and moving (he then subtracts 5% from what he thinks to calculate in for human error). The sperm density and the amount of semen collected factors how many brood mares can be bred from the one collection. The semen is then measured out and mixed with a nutrient-rich liquid. This helps the sperm survive until insemination time.
     At this time, if the semen is being shipped somewhere, it is packaged and taken to the airport. Live semen cannot legally go through any mail carrying service, but it can be shipped through commercial airlines, such as Delta and Southwest.
     Once the semen has reached its destination (sometimes its across the country, other times, its across the barn), it is ready to be artificially inseminated. The semen is poured into a syringe, but instead of a needle, there is a long tube at the end. The brood mare's birth canal is washed (you start from the inside and work your way out) and then Mike inserts the tube into the mare, and injects the semen near the cervix. He massages the cervix to encourage it to open up, increasing the likelihood of out foaling out the mare (that's horse speak for "getting the horse pregnant").
     In a few days, the doctor will come to the barn to do an ultrasound. Hopefully, the mare will be pregnant and twelve months later, there will be a baby.
    Man, I sounded really technical there. More importantly, I watched it enough times the other day, that I'm not super grossed out by it. I think that makes me much more of a cowgirl than I was when I started off that morning!
Cowgirl Out!